#VideOScripTTube : {YouTube Technical Video Script Tips and Tricks Tutorial} ■ Modern Love Toxic Relationships & Heart breaks
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~ YouTube Tutorial Video Tags ■ Modern Love Toxic Relationships & Heart breaks
Transcript:
(00:00) when you're young relationship because there is so much love and so much takes a lot out of you now recognizable behavior is something else it is is some some internal monologue that you don't tell anyone and you think that only you are thinking this and then suddenly a book comes and you're reading about that exact same behavior in a book and suddenly you feel okay I'm not alone in the way that I'm thinking tion one of the highest bestelling
(01:29) author I'm so we were talking about relation common question direct that question to you love versus career um I in an Ideal World conceptually this should not be a question but I think um and unpopular opinion but when you are young I think um career should take a little bit more precedence now that I'm older I can say this now 21 22 year olds come to me and say I'm like at 21 the people that I was with I don't even remember I mean time heals and solves everything but the energy that you have to put into your career at 2122
(02:28) the risks that you can take this time will go love will always wait I mean if you are in a and the flip side to it is that if you find a very stable relationship it's great I mean if you see all the successful people they have been in extremely long and stable relationships but the point is when you're young relationship because there is so much love and so much passion relationship it takes a lot out of you though it's it's I mean I can't choose one because I have had my fair everyone has had their fair share of
(03:15) relationships somehow I feel that when you're younger because that is the time that is your building block that is where you can take all the risk that is where you can try new things that is where you can quickly fail and the best part about failing when you're young is you can quickly brush it off and move on when you're are older and something and it's it's the same thing is about love when your relationship breaks when you're younger you brush it off you move on to the next one when you're older it scars
(03:47) you for life similarly career disappointment at an older age will scar you for life so put in a little little bit more effort in an idle world you should not have to choose but we do not live in an idol it's not just relationship it's not mayly it can be at any stage for example love for partner love for family now the compromise yeah absolutely and answer different if I were to choose between my family and my career I would choose my family without without a doubt please go and earn money we want to be rich we don't want
(04:43) you in the house please go to Canada but now I would not go I mean I'm sitting here there same one of my daughters is a five months old she does not even properly recognize me look same but I miss her I want to go back so so yeah with the age and stage but for them it's their yeah for them it's the end of end of the world yesterday I met a girl who was like break so I'm buying this book it will reinstate my my faith in love okay you actually make people believe in love they'll also play a positive role
(05:36) at the end learnings experience so maybe if someone has had breakups in past relations are mature or strong absolutely so uh this is something that I say about marriages not heartbreaks in general so a divorce is the second best thing that can happen to a marriage either you're ending up together for the rest of your lives the second best thing is divorce which means that now you know that you have looked out after your own happiness which is a great thing now you know what you want in a marriage that's
(06:09) that's also a lot of clarity that a lot of people don't have so similarly in a breakup if a breakup is happened now you have a little bit more understanding about yourself and that will go a long way in sort of navigating the next relationship as well I think for example div breakups daily you know many women have have suffered because I'm not happy with this person on the other side patience now there is an option is okay effort requ relation I think in my mind I'm not talking about but if you see in Western
(07:17) countries from a very long time the pressure is not that much still almost everyone gets married you know and arum you know if if you're committed to each other don't get married just start living together it's it's conceptually is there is no flaw but people still get married people still have weddings because those feelings never go so marriage ins they still in a flux you should not stay in a toxic relationship you should give give it more time of course toxicity but you should give more more time I mean you
(08:09) should give a little bit of breathing space in a relationship I think de because the higher goal uh not the higher goal but base level instincts relationship that has remained the same I think we will reach an equilibrium where people start like a lot of I see on um on Instagram they are giving this advice that you know it's easier to move out of a relationship now than to stay in it so stay in it and a lot of older people's people I see you know people who have been married for 60 years what is that one advice they say
(08:46) just stay right give it more time it'll get better so when we were getting married my father told is your tting time many nature and habit clashes but first one year we have to put all the efforts and then it will be a smooth ride yeah there's this pop philosopher Al Bon when the other person comes in it's like it's like watching your favorite movie now looking at it from the other person's point of view first year is
(09:50) difficult you start realiz this is not the right way of doing things you have written so many romantic novels and love it has been probably 15 years now uh so let's talk about this emotion [Laughter] love as as a romantic writer I would say yes but but no love is one of the strongest emotions that you can feel and um and I think we all need a witness to our lives okay up you you know you are in this world you are living a life what are doing all this for you need someone to look at you you want to be seen by
(10:34) that person and you want to be understood because other than that it nothing has meaning I mean you can be the most successful person in the world and 10,000 people might know of you but they will not know you you know how even the most successful people I mean millions of people have been affected by by you but do they know what you think I think that's that's what important I mean uh there's this book called um The Fault in Our Stars by John Green so they the guy fears Oblivion so the guy 17 and said that you know I've lived
(11:09) now I have cancer and now I'm going to die no one has seen me and the girl says I have seen you I know everything about you if your story needs to be told I will tell your story and I think that's that's what's what's needed I mean that's what gives you a little bit of purpose in life okay I'm I I need to be this person for person I love so it's a very strong emotion and and it it does does not always have to be romantic love it can be love for a period it can be it can be love for a child it can be love
(11:41) for a friend closely observe relations love emotion over the years so what I can feel is for example Baby M right Rel now it is relations are there but love no feelings attached so what what exactly is the how it has evolved over the time I think in my case this was a conversation that aan and I were having just like last week and um I was I was sitting with a two kids and she was looking at me and after a while she said I don't even recognize the person that I married because I married a boy from Delhi who used to
(12:25) party every day now you have to realize when we started dating I was uh um running over publishing house I was writing and then I used to have like a huge quy of people next day next day we'll repeat the same thing and that part of our life was very exciting right and this part of her life is filled with happiness disc that we are now two entirely different people like luckily I've written books so a lot of me is in the first book so if I read the first book I realize huh this person is me but he's not the current me and I have
(13:16) completely changed so what we realized is that over a period of time it happens but you completely change and you find different ways to fall in love with the same person so according to aanka she was like I married a very exciting writer who would do something new every day where I see a certain stability in him I see a certain um being a man sort of a thing that he can shoulder responsibilities you know as guys grow older a part of them still wants to hold on to the boyishness up mid 30s late 30s grown up mature thought after
(14:18) stability actions and it was it was very nice of her to say that you know I now like the things about you rather than saying I miss the old Dy because I don't miss the old MH I'm like I like this newer lived in version of of you the love has to shift because you also grow as people I and for me it's very easy for me to say if I read a book from 2008 I'll see okay if I read a book from 2015 I time if I read a book of now okay now I'm like this love shifts so first of all yes congratulations for your uh new book
(15:01) world's best girlfriend thank you right thank you very nice thank you congratulations and coincident when I started reading so the family of madans is being discussed then they sell the holidays then you get holiday M lucky winner so this relatability is what connects yeah even know irrespective of what age we are what relat observation any methods so uh about relatability so when when my first book got published and it got really successful that these are the reasons why your books work I used to believe them so the first reason was durj your
(15:59) title and subtitle they are funny so of course I love you till I find someone better that is why you're working some people used to tell me that okay uh Chan bhat is working and people are looking for other books like that that's why your book is working um one of those points was also relatability which I stuck on to okay relatability I I I understand that you know people relate with the story people relate with the story and for the longest time I used to believe that relatability is why my books work that
(16:29) people relate with it but what happened during the course of my career is that I got old right so my target segment I would say is 18 to 25 26 but I got in my early 30s so when I when my first daughter was born I was disconnected with my audience because they were much younger and I was going through an entirely different new phase of my life yeah so I wanted to write about that so I wrote this book called The Perfect us which was about 230 year old trying to have a child and eventually getting pregnant and having
(17:02) their child so this book when I submitted it to penguin they they were a little apprehensive so they are always very supportive but they were like you know this is not for your audience they are not going to relate with it yeah because I mean no one's at mid 20s no one is thinking about having a kid right literally no one who are you writing this book for and they said this book is not going to work because it's not relatable and I said but this is what know now so this is what the book is going to be about I can't do anything
(17:33) about this the book came out and it was one of my biggest hits uhhuh and then it called into question are are my books relatable or is something else going on then I realized something that there is a difference between a book being relatable and a reader recognizing his own behavior so a difference is if you're watching an Instagram real a very common re you see that you know um Soo the hous help comes switches off the fan and you're angry you relate with it right uh M Rel now recognizable behavior is
(18:12) something else it is some some internal monologue that you don't tell anyone and you think that only you are thinking this and then suddenly a book comes and you're reading about that exact same behavior in a book and suddenly you feel okay I'm not alone in the way that I'm thinking so a lot of readers started telling me that okay book your books make me feel less alone so I'm not relating to the book but I'm seeing my inner workings in a book so it was then it was it's it's been five years that I
(18:47) have stopped saying that my books are relatable I think a lot of readers see their hidden behaviors in a in a book very nice con I love you all
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